My soap box

Sometimes I forget who I am, sometimes I worry more about what others think of me then I worry about doing what I know is right. Sometimes I let others push me around because I am not confident enough to stand up for my self. Sometimes I worry I lose my own sense of style because I am more worried about fitting in.  It's when I let these "sometimes" happen that my day doesn't turn out the way I want, and I end up with doubts and regret . 

Sometimes I remember fully who I am and what I need and want from life. Sometimes I focus less on myself and more on my family, my friends, neighbors and even my pup.  Sometimes I know I am appreciated because I take time to notice how I help others. Sometimes I feel beautiful because I am proud of who I have became. Sometimes my testimony is strengthen because I allow growth to happen. Sometimes I become a better person because I humble myself enough to be teachable. When I choose to let these "sometimes" happen everything falls into place.

 Tyson is always reminding me to stand up for myself, after telling him how a certain situation or conversation played out. He usually jumps in coaching me on what I could of, should of, said to put the "person.in.there.place" or be an example/leader instead of a bystander. I usually counter attack be a phrase about how "in this particular situation it wouldn't have made a difference"

I am learning  most the time people toggle between similar core beliefs about themselves and therefore react and act in different situations as a result.  I have decided whichever set of "sometimes" I am in.Or whatever set of "sometimes" I think someone else is in. I don't have the option to hide behind the excuse "in this particular situation it wouldn't have made a difference." Because I know it does make a difference to me. I think there is a fine (at times very thin) line between standing up for yourself and putting others down. I guess this is the reason for so long I have allowed myself to be passive. BUT I know there are ways to keep my respect while respecting others.  I want to be the type of person who others gravitate too.  I want to be funny but not at the expense of others, fun because everyone feels welcomed around me, creative and clever because I  have an appetite for life others can taste, kind because you know I truly do see the best you can be when I call you friend. And I can't be this type of person if I am more concerns about being passive and letting things be.   I am grateful for the people I have in my life that show these qualities and set an example for me to follow to be kinder and more caring to others around me. I am grateful for the examples I have of people who stand up for themselves without putting others down.